"All words are symbols that represent unspeakable realities. Which is also why words are magical." (Donald Miller tweet)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

cheering normalization

I'm probably going to regret this post.

I tend to stay away from serious-to-me stuff, mostly because I like the lightness and fun of this space. There's a whole lot of "serious" inherent in life already, so my blog is usually a break from that.

But. This matters to me. And I gotta get it out.

You may or may not know that in my working world - there ain't a lot of women. There are more than there used to be, but still, we are small in number. Just this week, during a hospital visit, a nurse asked me who I was, and when I responded - "I'm their minister," she blinked and said, "Oh. Well, good for you," and walked away as I rolled my eyes in a decidedly non-ministerial fashion.

Disclaimer: Not everyone in the Weird and Wonderful World of the Church agrees that women can or should be pastors. That's OK with me. I respect where they're coming from; and only ask the same respect in return, if not agreement.

Anyway. Every now and then, someone asks me what it's like to be a female pastor. I tell them it's great, because really - it is. I love my job. I'm not looking for battles. I'm not a raging, aggressive feminista-type. I don't hate men. (I don't like pink, but that's just a personal preference, not a statement against femininity!)

Every now and then, someone asks me what I would like to see, what would be helpful, to us women clergy. Do I want weekly encouraging emails just for women? No. Do I want leadership training specific to my gender? Oh gosh, no. Do I want flowers? Only from Spike. (hint, hint) Do I want more friends, a support group? Nope - got 'em.

My answer (and I only speak for myself, obviously) is that I think what would be most helpful to women in ministry would be - help to normalize us. Don't give us separate seminars - make us an active part of the ones already there. Bring us in as speakers at the conferences, as teachers at the seminaries. Act like it's normal for women to do this job, and eventually maybe it will be.

With that in mind ... I got an invitation to a conference this week. I wish I could go. It will be full of challenging dialogue and thoughtful conversation, and people I wouldn't otherwise meet. I just know it would stretch my brain in most excellent ways, and I would come home with all kinds of "Why NOT?" conversation starters.

I probably can't go - it's in Minneapolis. But it's 21 leaders ... 21 topics ... 21 minutes each. (A time limit which I suspect will be quite a challenge for some of them! We clergy-types aren't known for being short-winded.)

But here's the part of the invitation that made me want to stand up and cheer, to plant a big, fat kiss on whoever came up with this idea:

"And in an unprecedented move, all of the speakers at this event are women — this is not a women's event, but it is a gathering at which women's voices will be featured (because we think it's about time for that!)."

And they mean it too. It won't be lame speakers brought in just because they are women. They will be speakers who are brilliant, thoughtful, engaging and real - who also happen to be women.

YEAH!!!